EARTH HEART // Pt 1

When I started out on this path to help support the shift in consciousness 10 years ago, it was with a convicted heart full of passion and purpose. I was ready and willing to use every single one of my natural assets, as well as all my personal resources, to provide a space for people to come and receive support from me - both privately and publicly. At the time, I was living alone in Mechanicsburg and recovering from a break up with a boyfriend that I was about to get engaged to, and so I had a lot of processing to do.

I found my spirit naturally pulling me into isolation with Nature as my therapy. I would go and sit for hours on top of King’s Gap Mountain outside of Carlisle, and I would listen deeply to my own thoughts as well as to the sounds of Nature. In that space of quiet contemplation, looking out across the Cumberland Valley, I remember being impressed by just how nurturing and giving Mother Earth was for all of her inhabitants. Whether it be for the birds and squirrels running and flying around, making nests in her tree tops, or for the farmers I saw plowing fields across her body, or for the rows of homes I saw lined up along the distant roads below…. I could see the bigger picture from way up there. Earth was endlessly supplying space, life, and nurturing growth for so many. She was even providing me with deep soul healing therapy at the time when I needed it most.  And then it simultaneously dawned on me - who was working for Her???

I know that the animals living on and in her body were part of her natural eco system of self care… actively pruning her in places that she needed it, as well as helping her to spread her seeds to keep up with the sowing and growing. All of them naturally in tune with her rhythms for optimal symbiotic expression. But then I began to reflect upon the relationship that humans had with the Earth, and quietly my heart began to sink - and then break. In my minds eye, I saw all the horrific pollution strewn across the streets, the land, and in her waters. I saw all of the toxic chemicals being sprayed on her body and in her skies, in the name of “preservation”. I saw the strip mining, as well as the deep sea digging, as just two years prior to that moment I had witnessed the largest marine oil spill in US History all across the news - from Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf of Mexico. And although I knew that there were certain compassionate organizations that had been set into place to speak on advocacy for Her, I just felt such a conviction that in general…most people couldn’t care less.

Wrapped up in our consumerism cells and lifestyles, most humans were playing an active part in destroying the very organism that they couldn’t live without. And then my mind fell into another desperate rabbit hole… that this ecological disfunction was just a huge representation of the state of humanity itself. We humans have the largest natural birthright to be Earth’s strongest stewards and advocates, and yet we continue on in our unconscious cycles of complacency - systematically working to destroy Her each day. Largely - She was feeding us Her soul, and we were feeding her our demons. (About 4 years after this personal revelation, I was exposed to the book “As in the Heart, So In the Earth - Reversing the Desertification of the Soil” by Pierre Rabhi which profoundly expresses the issue I was sensing. Amazon link for it HERE: https://a.co/d/ea2IbNs )

Not to be so Leo dramatic, but my face was coated in tears as I sat there connecting with our Mother on that day and in that way. My heart was so empathically wide open to Her in those moments, and then suddenly my ambiguous purpose had become quite clear. And so I offered myself to Her in that moment. I told her I would serve and advocate for her however I could. And then my internal vision shifted to a black screen which opened up to a future case scenario that could possibly be my own death if I were to take this route I was pledging myself to in that moment. I saw the chase coupled with the threats to extinguish my life if I didn’t recant my Message for the world at that time. I saw the crowd of agents that had backed me into a dark street corner telling me to tell the world I had been lying the entire time, and that my Message I had been trying to get across to them was not true. I saw the surveillance helicopter witnessing this scene from the sky, shining a spotlight down on what was unfolding.  And then I heard a calm inquisitive voice ask me simply in that momentary standoff “Would You?”. I knew that the question was pertaining to whether or not I would be willing to accept such a fate if it meant that the story for Earth could be known. And with that heavy comprehension I said “YES”. And then the psychic screen went black again, and returned to external observation looking out across Her majesty. I do not know what the overall outcome of that scene ended up being, since the screen went black before I could witness it. And maybe it was a fate that has yet to be determined. I just know that it seemed I needed to make my commitment clear to “whoever” and to myself, having taken an oath to speak for the One(s) that don’t have a voice - come what may.

I came down off that mountain that evening having shifted into Mission mode. But I felt like it was such a monumental task to literally take on the whole world, for the world. I know that that daunting perspective came from a place of isolated desperation, but that’s honestly how it felt to me at that time. And those sentiments were both energizing as well as sharpening for my will.

In the solitude of my apartment during those days, and influenced by the Reiki training I was moving through at the time, I began to develop an avenue of how to apply myself in Her army. I kept being drawn back to the issues of the human condition as the root of the problem. I also had a natural depth of empathy in working with people. I saw the entire issue from both macro and microcosmic levels. I remember also hearing about the power of the meditating monks, and how a small number of conscious beings that were focused on cultivating love and peace in an environment over run with toxicity, had such a major positive impact in that scene. And so, I began to believe in the power of the people in a way that felt hopeful to me. I thought back then… I will just show up as a reiki healer, working on one person at a time on my table, helping them to heal. I felt that if I could help just one person reach greater states of personal consciousness, and deeper states of healing, then I will have been making a positive impact on the world at that time - and therefore being an active part of Earth’s solution.

Little did I know about the Abyss that waited for me up ahead.

To be Continued.